Okay, you could accuse me of being a broken record if I knew what a record was, but I don’t, so you can’t!

Well, the G-men have done it yet again. They have released Google Mobile Maps 2.0, and they have released it for free (yes, free like our ringtones). And from all reviews it sounds like it kicks serious back end. Check it out this is Jean Claude Le Goog’s demo video.

(they’re getting pretty good at these nifty little animations aren’t they?)
I also found good reviews of it at Sevenclick and Adam Howitt’s blog. (If you like reading the industry side of things check out Gizmodo or Moconews.)So here’s the thing, I think most people would agree that Colonel Goo is very powerful and wealthy. They make a “shit-ton” (a mobile industry technical term synonymous with the more common, “butt-load”) of money. So will someone please explain to me why they keep giving away all their software and great ideas for free? Anyone?… Anyone?… Matthew Broderick?

Okay fine, I’ll tell you. G-Diddy gives it all away because they are… Geniuses. They have a long range vision that is going to keep them on top for a very long time to come. You see, Baron Von Googy knows that in the incredibly tricky, shape shifting world of technology you’ll only win if you and your services are the basis from which technology is created. You have to BE the language that the developers speak, and the products and tools that they all use. And while you will not immediately receive financial reward for giving away your services, you will almost certainly create virtually limitless financial opportunities for yourself down the road.Yes, Professor G. Hendrick Oogle has done it right, and they have done it right publicly, in front of us all. A shining beacon of capitalism at it’s best. Literally giving away billions in potential sales for the opportunity for trillions down the road (I would pick up my jaw off the floor if I could just stop smooching their butt for one second, but I can’t).

So why oh why, won’t anyone else learn. Especially in (what should be) the wide open mobile industry. As I have stated many times before (see The Story of Thanksgiving) the carriers seem to be stuck in a December 24th Scrooge scenario when instead they should be in a x-mass morning, joyous, pajama clad, “Say boy!… Boy!… Come here boy!… Go and buy that fat-ass goose for me boy!” kind of mood. It would do us all a lot of good. Carriers, consumers, companies, etc.

When will they learn that the more they try and squeeze dollars out of the mobile industry, the more market share they will lose. I can tell you this, the home boys and girls over at Verizon’s $9.99/mo GPS service are none too pleased. And I’ll take it one step further. If Verizon had been giving away their great GPS service for the last three years, they’d have a whole “shit-ton” more subscribers who really wouldn’t give a damn what the Duchess of Goo had just launched.

Well, we here at Cellfish.com say, “Go Ogle!” whether you care about us or not. We love what you do, we love your business model, but bigger than that, we think how you handle the mobile world is not only financially wise, but that it will lead to a greater, more robust, and more exciting marketplace. This saucy critic says, bravo to you!

So, with all that in mind we have some pretty great news of our own!

ANNOUNCING… ADD TO PHONE!

Yes, our Add to Phone API is out and it let’s you do some pretty fresh things. You can place any of our buttons on your blog and with one simple, mousy click, your readers can get your content on their phones to take with them wherever they go.

Now your readers can be checking out your latest post while their wives deliver their children. Nuclear power plant monitors can be watching your videos while on the job. Pilots can see pictures of your family’s thanksgiving food fight while flying 747’s full of orphans. It’s awesome! And here’s the thing. It is free! Gratis, on the house, no cost, zilch, on the Underhill’s tab. Why are we doing this? Have we gone mad, are we nutty? No!

We want everyone on this blue planet of ours to get their blog news/videos/photos on their phones through us.

So here’s to hoping you all go out and grab one of our buttons and add it to your blog. Pease enjoy this little ditty about how it works.

- Captain Cellfish
2007 Best Supporting Actor Nominee

Wow, say that one five times fast!

Well friends, another mobile social network has been eaten by Google. Yummy!

You know how Google puts out those cool holiday themed Google home pages? (The ones with the fireworks for the 4th, or the pregnant woman for labor day) They should make a new one where the “G” is a giant mouth eating the littles “o’s”. They could put it up every time they buy another mobile company…  Oh wait, that would be every day.

Yesterday Google bought Finnish, mobile, micro-blogging site Jaiku.com.  This is now their 16th (I think) mobile acquisition this year, and their 2nd within two weeks. (See the amazing post, Google buys Zingku: Mobile Social Networking arrives! ) Don’t quote me on this, but I think Google might just be up to something mobile. I’m not sure, but my spider sense is telling me I may be working in the right field.

Yes, Google obviously knows what we here at Cellfish have known for a while. Just like Thursday is the new Friday, and Bisexual is the new Native American, Cellphones are most definitely the new Internet. Google will not allow itself to do what the record companies did. Google is not about to let technology pass it by. They’ll see your industry predictions and raise you a trend creation. Yes, they not only know what is next, they are going to create what is next, and we here at Cellfish.com thank them from the bottom of our mobile hearts… I’ll tell you, if I could make love to any company out there (without angering my wife) it would most definitely be Google. They’re just so dang sexy.

I would also like to thank Google for making another ridiculously named company disappear. Zingku is gone… Now Jaiku, all they have left to do is buy Flibbertu, Moogumbu, Nippleter, Crinklebonk, and Blibbit, then the world will be spared having to type these inane, meaningless words into their browsers.

Wait a second… Now here’s an idea (my second one this week). As soon as I’m done writing this post I have to call my wife. You see, we’ve been trying to figure out a way for our seven-month-old daughter to start earning some cash (my Cellfish salary of loose change, and left over Cobb salad isn’t quite cutting it). Here’s the idea. My daughter is going to be VP of Strategic Planning for my new Internet Development firm. She’ll name your web site for no less than $75,000.00. She’s just getting warmed up these days with company names like, Gabu.com, Mahwaa.com, and Glurburt.org. All you’ll need to do is buy the domain, then wait two years and Google will purchase you. It’s guaranteed.

No but seriously. Mobile social networking is the next thing, and while the giant internet corporations get their armies ready for battle we here at Cellfish.com urge you all to come and check out what all the fuss is about. Because we do everything those giants are going to do, but we do it NOW!

Anyway, if you’re fed up with my satirical take on this situation, or you just want to find out what Microblogging, or Jaiku is, just read some of these posts, I found them highly informative.

Read/Write/Web

Venture Beat

Network World

Search Engine Land

Josh Kim.org

- Captain Cellfish

VP Marketing, Wumpluv.com

Oh Boy!

Mobile social networking has finally hit the big time, and we here at Cellfish couldn’t be happier. Validation! Vindication! Vacation!

Yes, this weekend Google purchased a mobile social networking site called Zingku. This just happened. It’s hot off the presses, and it’s getting a lot of attention. As it should. Mobile social networking is gonna be huge. Check out some of what’s being written about the purchase:

Local Mobile Search
TechCrunch
Google Operating System
Cellular News
Profy
Reve News
Sinlung News

Hmmm. Zingku… Sounds like the name of the bad guy in a 70’s kung-fu flick. You know the one. The evil warlord who murders the hard working, soy farmer who was only trying feed his family. Imagine if you will, a badly dubbed, twenty-something Chinese actor saying the following lines with tear-streaked cheeks. “[sniffle] Zingku has gone too far. He murdered my father, purloined our Yak, and pillaged my dear sweet sister. [sob] I’ll get you Zingku, or I will die trying!”

Seriously though, what is this Zingku? And why did Google buy it? Well, from what everyone can tell they are a mobile social networking web site that does some pretty neat things. They allow you to share your phone’s pictures with friends, save your phone’s pictures online, and subscribe to RSS feeds right on your cellphone. Wow! That’s cool. Does anyone else do that? Wait, hold on, I’m remembering something here… Hold please… Your call is important to us… Please continue to hold…. Your call may be monitored to insure quality- CELLFISH!

That’s right, we do the exact same thing as Zingku, with one major difference… Our site is up and running. It’s totally free, and ready for use. Here’s what you get when you try and sign up at Zingku…

So if you wanna get a sneek peak at how Mobile social networking works, you can do it all very easily right here at Cellfish.com. Not only do we provide all the the same services as Zingku, but you can also get any YouTube video right on your phone. We have built a very powerful set of mobile tools, and are getting ready to launch a sexy, newly re-designed site. So come one, come all, and try mobile social networking for yourselves. It’s Grrreat! Check us out, set up a free account, and get busy.

We are also constantly on the mission to improve our site, so feel free to comment about us on this blog, or send us notes telling us what we can do better. And of course we always treat your privacy as a life or death matter. In fact, I had to sign a contract when I started working here that said, “if you [employee] share any member’s phone number with anyone, you will have to spend no less than three (3) moons locked in the dungeon of the evil warlord, Zingku being tortured by his wily henchman, Phonezoo.”

- Captain Cellfish
VP Smell Testing Operations, Frito Lay