It is that time once again my fair mobile obsessed readers.

The cheese is pasturizing, the glogi is mulled, and the lingonberries are getting plump. The sheep are returning from their pastures, the first whisps of cool mountain air signal the change of the seasons. Ah Finland glory be to thee.

Last saturday the 8th annual mobile phone throwing competitions were held in Savonlinna, Finland. And let me tell you something, you thought you knew excitement… This thing is like game seven, bases loaded two outs bottom of the ninth, full count. This event is like the X-Games on Crack. This thing is… Words just won’t do. See it for yourself.

And yes, that is the man, the myth, the legend right there. Tommi. I have his rookie trading card… Signed. It’s worth like 3 euros. The guys is like sooooo totally hot. But all joking aside the man has a gun. He hurled that phone 89.62 meters, which is like 2,498 feet. If you’re interested, which I’m sure you are the complete breakdown of the competition can be found here.

By the way the top finishing American came in a disappointing 20th (I owe my bookie like 2 G’s for that one, probably gonna get my legs broken). You also may note that the American’s name is Puikkonen Panu. Now I’m no anthropologist, but that name sounds awfully Finnish to me. Something’s rotten in Denmark (Finland).The whole event was masterfully covered on Hitting the Wire & The (Other) End of the Internet

So you may ask, why write an entire blog post about a mobile phone throwing competition. Well, I’ll tell you. We here at Cellfish have a love hate relationship with these little communication devices we all have in our pockets. We know the potential for them is so great. They could work so well. They could revolutionize media. But they haven’t yet. American cellphones are so very similar to me in 6th grade. A lot of potential, with very little actual effort. Cellphones in this country are being held back by the carriers. Their cameras could be so much powerful, their bandwith could be bigger, and their data plans could be so much cheaper. So that is our frustration. But we will perservere. Like Tommi Huotari.

(cue dramatic music)

Cellphones WILL be better, we will demand it, we will shout it from the hills and the valleys, the rooftops and the subway tunnels… “Free our phones!” will be our battle cry and the cellphone carriers will rue the day, (I say rue) that they tried to keep us down. As the effete, dirty, union, broadway dancers sang as they stormed the Bastille…

Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be free!

- Captain Cellfish
Musical Director, Carnival Cruise Lines